leolaroot:

leolaroot:

jerking off is awesome. youre telling me i can do this for free whenever i want at my own house?

bananonbinary:

theothin:

becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys:

thesixthstar:

rottingtrouble-child:

I fucking hate the “explaining = invalidating” when it comes to apologies. Yes, sometimes a person means to invalidate you by saying this, but sometimes we genuinely just want to fucking explain our side so we can properly communicate.

I do not know what the fuck is wrong until I’m told what I’ve done wrong and feel the need to explain in order for us to see both of our sides

I like getting explanations with apologies because for me it helps lessen the damage that was done or can help clear the negative emotions.

I’ve had multiple people say it’s a sign that I’m a bad person that I don’t apologize right away, or that I’m giving excuses instead of owning up and apologizing (which is fucking hard for me to know if I’m actually in the wrong or not and people doing this shit does NOT fucking help). Apologies aren’t always just a “Sorry” one and done deal thing.

knowing that someone didn’t mean to harm you, and in fact may have been trying to help, can be comforting! knowing how they came to choose actions that harmed you can help you both collaborate to avoid harm in the future! Knowing whats going on in the mind of your loved ones can be important and bring you closer together in times of possible conflict!
An explanation is NOT an excuse, thats true, but that also means that someone explaining doesn’t mean they’re not ALSO trying to apologize on top of that!

I mean it’s actually actively important to understand that people didn’t intentionally try to hurt you. We have a real problem with assuming malicious intent behind actions, when the vast majority of people are actually just being a bit inept, or even might be coming at something from a different angle. The absolute insistence that you must never explain your actions, you must simply self flagellate before the Appointed Victim is… well, a lot of very problematic stuff can be enabled by that.

#yeah I lost a friendship over this once#someone who thought an apology begins and ends with ‘sorry#so when I wrote a paragraph starting with 'I apologize’ and continuing with my explanation of how I’d hurt her by mistake#she said it didn’t include the word 'sorry’ (??) and didn’t want an explanation–didn’t care if it was intentional or not#at the time I was somewhat shocked and hurt and very frustrated by her response but in retrospect good riddance

I wonder if a lot of people get frustrated by explanations of mistakes because they want to take their anger out on their imaginary malicious version of you and they don’t want new information that might challenge that

if so, sucks to be them, but that’s no way to treat someone you want to continue a positive relationship with

i think a large part of the problem is how a lot of people seem to see apologies not as an attempt to mend the relationship and avoid future conflict, but as an signal of who is Winning between you. i ran into this a lot in christian circles; forgiveness is something you graciously bestow on the Bad Person who wronged you because you are Better Than Them, not like…a chance to improve things.

people like that get VERY upset when you instead want to tackle whatever the problem was as a team rather than just take your blame and go.

the-polysulfur-collective:

Autism: I need this specific routine to be followed for me to be in peace and working

ADHD: I need extreme flexibility and opportunity to work on what i want in different days

AuDHD: Okay, so, i need… A general routine, like, okay, i cannot funcition without a routine, right?, But after two (2) days, i cannot function with this specific routine, i need a little change, but if it’s too much change i will literally cry right NOW

trogort:

Hehehe he…. Hahaha a! Oh, sorry, just having some mirth. You wouldn’t get it.

kristina100000:

one cocktail for my girlfriend and one cunttail for me please

pjackk:

Yes i have been fingering myself until my body shuts down

lucypenniiies:

Shiny sylveon: my primary and secondary colors swap!

Shiny umbreon: My shiny is a fan favorite amongst the community

Shiny espeon:

manywinged:

manywinged:

if i was a doctor and they called me to pronounce someone who’s very obviously no longer alive as officially dead i would be so tempted to say “no” just to see what would happen

investigator: doctor is this guy dead [gestures to 3 week old decomposing human remains]

me:

ALT

michaelnothing:

shiftythrifting:

I don’t even know what to say

QC, Canada

I do…

REST IN PEACE GRANNIE NASTY.

papasmoke:

a second bumblebee has hit the twin flowers